1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,680 The following programme contains strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,840 ROB: 'Rom and I are back...' 3 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,800 (ROMESH SINGS) (SINGS) 4 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,360 'Ready to throw ourselves into the most weird...' 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,320 Bad guy. (LAUGHS) 6 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,560 '..and wonderful worlds.' Yeah! 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,160 MAN: Yes! Yes! 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,800 'Together we're going on a journey of discovery.' 9 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:26,920 Is that your card? Yes. 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,560 Right there, the three of clubs. 11 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,040 'To find out what we like...' 12 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,200 What you saying, Jim? Hey! 13 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,880 Yeah! 14 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,040 '..and what we don't.' 15 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:36,840 Oh Jesus. Don't look down. 16 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,400 (LAUGHS) Can I have a poo bag, please? 17 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,240 Oh god. 18 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,720 'This week...' 19 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,240 (SCREAMS) 20 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,760 'Rob and I are going canine crazy.' 21 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,440 Hey man, I'm fun. 22 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,200 'As we train our very own family pets...' 23 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,080 Reggie! '..to become dog show super stars.' 24 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,600 (LAUGHS) 25 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,120 Good boy! 26 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,280 'Before they go head to head at the biggest dog show in the world.' 27 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,440 Yes! 28 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,239 Are you ready? No. 29 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,080 'The legendary Crufts.' 30 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,400 Yes! 31 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,200 Woof, woof! So, this week... 32 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,160 Crufts. Entering our dogs. The big one. 33 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,400 The big one. The big tournament. 34 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,039 So we'd been talking about getting a dog for a long time, right? 35 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,480 You suddenly got a dog. What happened? Why did you get a dog? 36 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,760 Basically, Lou wanted a dog and now I've got a whippet called Fred. 37 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,200 So you're happy you've done it? I do enjoy having a dog but I- 38 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,479 That's the reason I wanted to do this. I wanna try and connect with the dog more. 39 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,920 I think 'cause I'm working a lot, 40 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,479 I'm not spending a lot of time with Fred.Yeah. 41 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,360 What about your dog? Reggie. Yeah. 42 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:47,320 What is Reggie? Reggie is a miniature golden doodle. 43 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,600 Can I tell you something about Reg? Reggie's dick... 44 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,440 I genuinely felt like we bought a dick with a dog attached. 45 00:01:54,479 --> 00:01:57,000 (LAUGHS) You can get that? 46 00:01:57,039 --> 00:01:58,840 (LAUGHS) I found the puppy experience- 47 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,600 Well he's got the dick of a retriever but the body of a poodle. 48 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,280 Correct, yeah. No discipline at all. 49 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,560 So Reggie- he's got no, sort of, control... 50 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,280 What happens when you open the front door? 51 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,199 What does Reggie do? Runs out. 52 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,480 (LAUGHS LOUDLY) (LAUGHS) 53 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,880 So... have you actually said to Lisa about, like, 54 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,720 "We need to get on top of the training?"Yes, I have, yeah. 55 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,680 What's- What's your, sort of, plan? Well... 56 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,840 Do Crufts, hope for the best? Yeah, I guess so. 57 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,480 Yeah, I think that's a good idea, yeah. 58 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,720 Hopefully work will sort it out. 59 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,520 Er no, we- we've started training him.Yeah. 60 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,480 And, like, listen, I love him. I just want him to be... 61 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,760 Trained? I want him to meet his potential. 62 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,520 (GROANS) Just, it's so upsetting 63 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,640 we do all these challenges and I'm the shittest at it 64 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,240 because of who I am and what I am. Mmm... 65 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,040 And now I've managed to make... Like, Reggie's like me. 66 00:02:46,079 --> 00:02:48,120 Well maybe that's your influence? Yeah, maybe. 67 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,960 He was alright until he lived in your house. 68 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,480 Yeah. Gonna start seeing one of his eyelids drooping. 69 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,320 Start looking a bit sadder, tail stops wagging. 70 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,880 Cock starts shrinking. Yeah. 71 00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:00,160 (LAUGHS LOUDLY) (CHUCKLES) 72 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,120 'When it comes to dog shoes, they don't come any bigger than Crufts. 73 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,120 Since 1891, competitors have travelled 74 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,120 from far and wide to show off their dogs. 75 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,160 And in six months' time, Rom and I will be joining them, 76 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,200 when Fred and Reggie go head to head 77 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,480 in their very own agility challenge. 78 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,000 They'll have to learn how to navigate an obstacle course 79 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,720 as fast and as faultlessly as they can. 80 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,480 And just to complicate things, 81 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,560 they'll be doing all that in front of 8,000 people. 82 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,920 But first, it was time they met each other.' 83 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,520 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 84 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,000 Today, I'm here with Reggie. 85 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,360 And he is essentially, sort of, 86 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,520 a wild animal that we keep in our house. 87 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,160 He doesn't really listen or obey or anything like that. 88 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,240 And... today he's gonna be meeting Rob's dog, Freddie. 89 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,880 Is that another doggy? Hello, Reggie!That's Freddie. 90 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,480 And.... Look, I'm not saying he's not obedient, 91 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,400 but there is a 50/50 chance that I go home with him today. 92 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,240 Go and say hello? Oh! Oh, oh, oh.(LAUGHS) 93 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,680 He's excited. (LAUGHS) Jesus Christ! 94 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,160 I'm here with Fred, 95 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,600 and he's not had a walk today so he's absolutely raring. 96 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,840 And he loves other people, loves other dogs. 97 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,680 He's a bit flirty actually. He likes being chased. 98 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,680 He don't like doing the chasing, so he'll annoy a dog 99 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,240 and then that dog'll chase him, hopefully. 100 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,680 So, let's... it's a bit like me and Romesh. 101 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,160 'Before anyone started chasing anyone though, 102 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,920 we needed to talk about the elephant in the room.' 103 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,760 That dog's pipe's not normal. 104 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,440 That's not OK mate. That dog's not... 105 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,600 That's not miniature, is it? 106 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,120 (UPBEAT PERCUSSION) 107 00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:42,880 'So with only six months to go until Crufts, 108 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,880 Rob and I needed to gauge 109 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,760 just how much training we were letting ourselves in for.' 110 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,520 OK, Reggie, see you in about three days. 111 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,960 'And, terrifyingly for me, 112 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,080 that meant letting Reggie off the leash.' 113 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,200 (LAUGHS) He's loving it, Reg, look! Oh god, they're both so quick. 114 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,160 (LAUGHS) I know. 115 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,880 Oh God. Oh my God. 116 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,680 Let's see if Reggie comes back. Reggie! Reggie! 117 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,880 Reggie! Oh, fucking hell. (LAUGHS) 118 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,600 Reggie! 119 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,240 Reggie, Reggie. 120 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,320 Freddie! Freddie! Freddie, come. Reggie. 121 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,640 Here, Reggie, come. Reggie, come. Good boy, Fred! 122 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,760 Reggie! Reggie, come. Reggie, come. 123 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,640 Here, Reggie, come. Reggie. Good boy... ish. 124 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,040 Good boy. He come straight to me, Rom. 125 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,680 Reggie, come. Reggie. Reggie. 126 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,400 Reggie. 127 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,800 Why? Rob, please. That was already there. 128 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,560 You got a problem on your hands there, mate. 129 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,800 Well you created a problem, haven't you?No, I haven't. 130 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,840 Reggie, don't fuck about. 131 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,760 Do not fuck about. 132 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,000 Come here. (CHUCKLES) 133 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,440 (LAUGHS LOUDLY) 134 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,080 (SIGHS) Oh. 135 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,240 Do you know what? I think the dog walk's gone well. 136 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,159 There's work to be done with Reggie's recall. 137 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,320 I mean, Fred's isn't perfect, but up against that, I feel unbelievable. 138 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,000 That dog, not only has it got no respect for Romesh, 139 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,840 I don't think he likes him. I... 140 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,280 Categorically, that dog doesn't wanna go near Romesh. 141 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,360 I'm so depressed. (LAUGHS) 142 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,040 We've got the wrong dogs. 143 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,760 I should have a dog like that. 144 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,960 I said to 'em, "I want something like Rob Beckett." 145 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,720 Massive cock and annoying? Yeah. 146 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,440 They said, "We can't do the dick but we can do everything else."(LAUGHS) 147 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,760 'It didn't take a genius to see we needed help, 148 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,760 so we were off to meet legendary dog trainer, Ashleigh Butler. 149 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,560 Not only was Ashleigh the winner of Britain's Got Talent in 2012, 150 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,440 she's also an incredible seven times Crufts champion too. 151 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:35,720 The ideal choice, then, to teach the four of us the basics of dog agility 152 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,840 and see if we had any talent whatsoever. 153 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,960 (ROCK MUSIC) 154 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,800 Yeah, this is Sully. He's nine and a half. 155 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:46,000 And what breed is Sully? So he's a crossbreed 156 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,960 between a border collie, a poodle and a Chinese crested. 157 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,720 That must've been a hell of a night. 158 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,640 (LAUGHTER)A wild party. So what... 159 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,600 Basically, Rob's dog's quite well-trained. Mine isn't. 160 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,080 OK. I don't... 161 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,440 I don't even know the basics, like...OK. So, let's go. 162 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,360 Three top tips, then... OK.OK. 163 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,480 Number one, don't treat them like babies. 164 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,720 OK.Right, OK. OK? They are dogs. 165 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,160 If I want them to respect me, 166 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,120 I have to make sure that I'm not treating them like a baby.OK.OK. 167 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,280 My children don't respect me either, so...OK. 168 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,360 (LAUGHS) This is gonna be fun then. 169 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,800 He hasn't got- No one really respects him, to be honest. 170 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,240 But he doesn't respect himself. Aww! (LAUGHS) 171 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,360 Tip number two would be, "More fun than anything else." 172 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,840 You have to be fun. Again, he's gonna struggle with that. 173 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,560 Oh. Hey, man, I'm fun. 174 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,360 (HIGH-PITCH) Reggie! Good boy. (LAUGHS) 175 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,840 Oh. Good boy. 176 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,640 See? That's how fun you've gotta be. I can't even be more fun than Rob. 177 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,600 See how high-pitched his voice was then? That's how... Come on. 178 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,080 (HIGH-PITCH) Reggie! There you go! 179 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,440 Oh, yeah, lovely. Look! 180 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,200 Um, and then my tip number three, my last one, is probably... 181 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,080 (REGGIE BARKS)Shh, shh, shh! ..eye contact with your dog. 182 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,080 OK. Well, I'm completely out now. (LAUGHS) 183 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,040 I'm three for three on things I can't do. 184 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,560 Literally, I look Reggie directly in the face, Freddie comes over. 185 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,640 So you're in trouble here, boy. I am in deep shit. 186 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,360 But they are my top tips, there we go. 187 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,160 Get that eye contact, be more fun. 188 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,080 Yeah.OK? Yeah, OK. Hey, hey man. 189 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,480 You sound like his first agent. And don't treat them like babies. 190 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,760 "Dress differently, be funnier, be more original with your material." 191 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,560 Stuff like that, yeah? I think... (LAUGHS) 192 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,720 I think we should give these top tips a go and do an agility course. 193 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,720 Alright, let's give it a go. Sure, yeah.Yeah? 194 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,160 I'm bang up for it, yeah. Can we close that gate though? 195 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,720 Yeah, I think that's a good idea. It'd be really helpful for me. 196 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,360 Padlock it shut? Yeah, please.Yeah. 197 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,800 (LIVELY MUSIC) 198 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,480 'So I wasn't feeling confident, and to start with, 199 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,600 Ashleigh was throwing us in at the deep end... 200 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,559 with the tunnel. 201 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,080 So, I'm gonna be here holding him 202 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,919 at the, er, entrance of the tunnel. Yeah. Yeah. 203 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,799 You're gonna go to the exit of the tunnel with your treats.Yep. 204 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,600 and you're gonna just call him through.OK. 205 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,880 And then hopefully, he'll go through.Right.OK? 206 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,760 (HIGH PITCH) Freddie. Freddie. Freddie. 207 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,360 Freddie! Freddie. Come on, Freddie. Yes, good. Big praise. 208 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,080 Freddie, come on. Good boy! Yeah! Well done! 209 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,200 Good boy, Freddie! Good job. 210 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,640 OK! (LAUGHS) Let's give it a go. 211 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,400 You've gotta be confident. Huh? Yeah, I'm really confident. 212 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,960 Go. Ready? Reggie, Reggie, Reggie. Reggie. 213 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,720 Quick! Reggie. Reggie, Reggie, Reggie. 214 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,560 Reggie! Reggie. Go on, boy. 215 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,560 Reggie! Ready, let's go. 216 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,480 Reggie. Reggie. Be fun! 217 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,040 Reggie! Reggie. 218 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,680 (LAUGHS) Reggie. 219 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,400 Reggie. Yay! 220 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,600 How have we got to a point where I'm going through the fucking tunnel? 221 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,720 (LAUGHTER)Maybe you should just go through the whole thing? 222 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,680 When I saw Romesh crawling through the tunnel, I just felt sad. 223 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,240 They said respect- make the dog respect you. 224 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,280 How can you respect that? 225 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,680 Looked like a goat in a snake. 226 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,760 (LIVELY MUSIC) 227 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,720 'It wasn't the best of starts for me and Reggie. 228 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,680 And as we moved onto the jump, 229 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,520 it didn't help that Rob and Fred looked like naturals.' 230 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:44,760 What we're gonna do... 231 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,440 You're gonna have your dog sitting this side of the jump, 232 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,120 OK? You're gonna step over the jump, 233 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,400 and then call them over with you. OK. 234 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,480 OK? And they are gonna have to be off leads for this one. 235 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,800 Excuse me? (LAUGHS) 236 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,840 OK. So, you're gonna put him in a sit. 237 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,080 Freddie. Oh! 238 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,520 Oh. (CHUCKLES) Smashed it. 239 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,160 He's already done it. OK. 240 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,880 (MIMICS) "Oh, he's already done it." Sit. 241 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,360 (LAUGHS) 242 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,360 "Oh, so sorry, he did it by accident. 243 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,080 Gonna leave him there. Freddie, sit. 244 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,000 Wait. Wait. Good. 245 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,600 Freddie, come. Reggie, down. 246 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,640 Yeah! Yay! Big praise! 247 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,280 Freddie! Freddie, come. Brilliant. 248 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,960 And recall, back on lead. (LAUGHS) 249 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,720 OK. (MIMICS) "And recall, back on lead." 250 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,080 (LAUGHS LOUDLY) 251 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,800 OK. Sorry! 252 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,600 Come on, Fred. Let's watch this not happen. 253 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,440 Reggie, sit. OK. Come on, Reggie. 254 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,720 We are believing in you. Reggie, come on. 255 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,120 Yay! Good boy. 256 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,480 That's good! Reggie, come here. 257 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,440 (MIMICS) "And recall, back on lead." Yay! 258 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,680 (LAUGHS) Reggie, come here. 259 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,560 Well done. That was the quickest... 260 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,560 going on lead I've ever seen. Yeah. 261 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,280 See? You are g- You're not a piece of shit. Well done. 262 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,680 There's some bits of advice that I found tricky to follow. 263 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,320 For example, you have to be fun and high energy. 264 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,480 I mean, this is what I'm like at kids birthday parties. 265 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,960 Wait. 266 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,880 What I'd also say is we've seen once again 267 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,880 that Rob Beckett, when faced with a task 268 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,760 that he's realised that he's slightly better at than me, 269 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,600 uh, becomes a weapons-grade cock. 270 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,080 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 271 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,000 'So would it be another victory for Fred and me 272 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,000 as we moved onto the last obstacle, the tyre? 273 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,840 Or as I like to call it, the short tunnel. 274 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,320 Sit that side of the tyre. 275 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,840 Wait. 276 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,320 Come, Freddie. Freddie! 277 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,960 Yay! Yay! Well done! 278 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,280 Come on, we can do that. Don't let this prick-(LAUGHTER) 279 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,160 We can fucking do that. Right. Ooh! 280 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,160 Competitive streak is coming out now.Freddie! 281 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,120 (HIGH-PITCH) Reggie, sit. (LAUGHTER) 282 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,480 Sit. I mean, get up now. Oh shit, you're in the wrong place. 283 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,680 You've got a lead on him still. Yeah, I was about to say. 284 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,280 Why have you got his lead on? Sit. 285 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,080 Take the lead off. You've got the lead on. 286 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,560 Fine. Show him your treat. 287 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,280 Be fun. Sit. Sit. Sit. 288 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,960 Round it. 289 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,640 Through here. Nearly. 290 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,240 Argh! He was so close. Help him through. 291 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,720 Through here, through here, through here.ALL: Yay! 292 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,120 Well done. Woohoo! 293 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,800 Good boy. God, I fucking love you. 294 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,320 I mean, that was a new tactic of doing the tyre, guys. 295 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,200 Never seen that one done before. There we go. 296 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,640 Well done. (MIMICS) "Back on the lead, recall." 297 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,920 I was nervous about entering Crufts 298 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,160 until I saw Romesh and Reggie. 299 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,760 And now, I'm quietly confident 300 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,360 to be the second worse dog and human pairing. 301 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,760 It's not about being the fastest gazelle, 302 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,560 it's about being faster than the slowest gazelle. 303 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,440 What do you think our chances are at this year's Crufts in agility? 304 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,080 I think you're gonna do great. 305 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,240 Yeah.Do you know what your voice is doing as you're saying that? 306 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,080 Going high? (LAUGHS) Yeah, yeah. 307 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,720 You keep nodding your head like, "I can convince myself."Yeah. 308 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,760 Do you know if you play poker, you've got some tells 309 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,760 just so you know. If we really- how long would you- 310 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,960 I just don't think you should have high expectations. 311 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,920 OK, so if I come to your... So, sorry... 312 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,520 Your advice is to be confident and be positive 313 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,760 but not to have high expectations? But be realistic. 314 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,080 But be realistic. OK. Yes.OK. 315 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,920 OK, well, thank you, Ashleigh. Brilliant, thanks, Ashleigh. 316 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,400 That's alright. Thanks for coming. 317 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,960 It's been a mixture of advice and contraction. Thanks so much. 318 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,280 I've loved it.Reggie, let's go. Thanks Rob.No worries. 319 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,760 Take care, bye-bye. See you soon. Bye. 320 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,400 ROMESH: 'Rob and I are on a mission to try and get our canine companions 321 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,600 ready for the world's greatest dog show, Crufts... 322 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,400 Where they will hopefully go head to head on the agility course.' 323 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,720 Wait. 'But our first taste of training 324 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,880 had shown that, while Fred knew who's boss...' 325 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,360 Yay! Big praise. 326 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,320 And recall, back on lead. 327 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,640 (MIMICS) "And recall, back on lead." (LAUGHTER) 328 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,360 '..Reggie was a bit more of a free spirit.' 329 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,440 Yay! 330 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,200 How've we got to a point where I'm going through the fucking tunnel? 331 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,840 'So to help us get back on track, we headed to York Hall 332 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,640 where Ashleigh had laid on some very special training 333 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:51,200 for us and the boys. (CHEERING) 334 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,360 Oh my God, this is horrific. 335 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,280 Ah! Oh Jesus! 336 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,280 (LIVELY MUSIC) 337 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,400 'This is flyball, 338 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,040 the high-speed dog sport that looks like a cross between 339 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,120 a relay race and a night out at the dogs. 340 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,280 To help us get Fred and Reggie match fit, 341 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,280 Ashleigh had arranged for us to spend the day 342 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,080 training with the team Tails we Win, 343 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,720 because if you want your dog to obey you and be quick, 344 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,760 who better to train them than the fastest flyball team in Europe? 345 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,280 And showing us the ropes was their captain, Joe Lamont.' 346 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,320 I'm Romesh. How you doing, man? Good. You? 347 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,320 Today, I think we're gonna look at you guys 348 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,120 and do some flyball training. Yeah. 349 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,080 Sure. Can I ask a question? Of course you can. 350 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,080 What has just happened?(LAUGHS) Like so, so- like... what is- 351 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,560 What is the actual thing? So the aim of the game 352 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,200 is to go over four jumps, hit the spring-loaded box at the end 353 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,040 take the tennis ball and go back. 354 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,760 The amazing thing about flyball is it's not just about the dogs, 355 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,800 it's about the precision of the handlers as well. 356 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,360 So it's not just having a quick dog? No. 357 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,360 It's a lot about the precision of the handler? 358 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,760 The handlers, yep. So... Are you the best handler? 359 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,280 No. (LAUGHS) Oh, OK. 360 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,160 I'm the best trainer. Right. 361 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,000 Um the... Who is the best handler? 362 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,960 My wife, definitely. But I try not to tell her. 363 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,440 OK, well, let's not talk about that. 364 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,360 What about- But what about with the dogs? Haha! 365 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,920 My man! Yeah!Yes! I meant to the dogs. 366 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,920 You were gonna do it, I got there first. 367 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,520 OK, so I think we'll start with you guys 368 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,800 working with some experienced dogs. Right OK.Perfect. 369 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,480 I'm not very good with barking though. 370 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,480 You've come to the wrong place then. (LAUGHS)It's quite loud, isn't it? 371 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,040 Hello.You alright?So these are two really experienced dogs. 372 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,280 Hello! Oh, thank you. 373 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,840 You alright? What's that? 374 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,560 That's a toy. OK.OK. 375 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,280 Play with it however you like. 376 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,600 While they're running, I'll stick this up your arse. 377 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,120 Absolutely perfect, let's go! 378 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,440 Let's flyball. I think I like flyball.(LAUGHS) 379 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,120 All you have to do is run in, call her and run out 380 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,920 which is gonna be really easy. OK. 381 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,680 OK? Right so you just hold her hips. 382 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,040 Hips?! Hold her hips? 383 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,440 Oh, Romesh. (LAUGHS) Should really buy her a drink first. 384 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,880 Flyball is the elite of dog events at Crufts. 385 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,000 Erm... border collies and whippets dominate. 386 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,240 I've got a whippet and I'm ready to dominate. 387 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,880 Er, so I've gotta hold her hips? Rob, Rob, really?Like, tightly. 388 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,800 Can you really secure that dog? (LAUGHTER) 389 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,880 There's absolutely no way- Rob, seriously. 390 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,520 I want my dog to be a champion so I'll feel like a champion. 391 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,120 That's the way to do it, innit? 392 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,840 It's a bit like Judy Murray and Andy Murray. 393 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,640 Get your dog out there and see what it can do. 394 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,720 'Based on our first attempt, though...' 395 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,360 Mark! Oh! I'm not ready! 396 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,880 (LAUGHS)Shit! Aww! Oh, fuck! 397 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,520 '..I didn't think we'd be winning any grand slams just yet.' 398 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,960 Fuck! (LAUGHTER) 399 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,840 What's go- (LAUGHS) 400 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,040 What happened there? I can't hold onto that dogs legs. 401 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,960 We just had a look at flyball, 402 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,200 and basically what it is, is, erm... 403 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,920 you scream at a dog to make it run away. 404 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,960 Shout ready. Ready! Ready! 405 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,840 Mark, set, go! Go! 406 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,320 (SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) 407 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,400 And then you scream at it to make it return to you. 408 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,760 (ALL SHOUT INDISTINCTLY) 409 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,560 And then what you do is you hold a thing in front of you 410 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,840 so that it doesn't bite your face off. 411 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,680 (ROCK MUSIC) 412 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,680 'So what better way to add more danger 413 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,520 than to introduce two completely untested dogs to the mix?' 414 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,280 So, we are now going to start 415 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,000 teaching your dogs how to play flyball, 416 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,319 and we're gonna start with the most basic exercise 417 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,560 which is the first jump. 418 00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:11,680 'And first up was the bookies' favourite, Freddie.' 419 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,560 So I'm gonna say mark, set, run. OK. 420 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,359 And then we'll say mark, set, go. Mind out. 421 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,760 Don't wanna do your other eye. 422 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,760 Ready? Mark, set, run. 423 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,680 Mark, set, go. Go.Yeah! 424 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,400 Good! Woo-ooh! 425 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,040 Tell him to get it. Oh... Get it! 426 00:17:24,079 --> 00:17:25,839 Yes! Yes, good boy! 427 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,599 Really good. Well done. Good boy. 428 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,760 Clever boy. Rob, that's amazing! 429 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,600 Alright, now we're gonna move to two jumps. 430 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:32,920 Mark, set, run. 431 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,480 Mark, set, go. Yes! 432 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,240 Good boy! Good boy! Good boy! 433 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,480 Keep playing with him. Get it, get it, get it. 434 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,680 Yeah! Good boy. Well done. 435 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,680 Really good. Good. Shall we, uh... 436 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,840 ..get Reggie out? 437 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,160 Reggie? Yeah, sure. 438 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,000 (LAUGHS) Yeah. 439 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,920 Will his knob hit that board? Probably. 440 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,760 Yeah, you're gonna need to reinforce those. 441 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,000 Can you cut a little hole out the middle for him cos he's- 442 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,640 You said you were gonna stop talking about his dick.I can't. 443 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,080 I'm not sure Reggie's gonna be the best at this event. 444 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:05,000 Erm, don't get me wrong, I like Reggie, he's a laugh, isn't he? 445 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,160 He's got a massive head, massive wang. 446 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,440 He's like the best bloke at a stag do. 447 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,800 But would I wanna train him up? No. 448 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,960 Great on a stag do, terrible in the work place. 449 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,480 And this is work. 450 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,640 So we're going to see how Reggie does now. 451 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,480 So you're just gonna try keep him as engaged as possible with that toy. 452 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,400 I'll say mark, set, run. You run on run. 453 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,040 And then you call him and play. OK. 454 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,240 Mark, set, run. Mark, set, go. 455 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,400 Yes! Yeah! 456 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,960 Oh. That's it. 457 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000 And the toy! Keep it moving. 458 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,120 (LAUGHTER) 459 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,200 Mate, it's here. Where you going? 460 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,800 Oh no. (LOUD LAUGHTER) 461 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,320 (ROB LAUGHS HEARTILY) 462 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,000 That's what he thinks of your running. 463 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,480 Good boy! Well done, Reg. Alright, keep playing with him. 464 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,480 Keep playing with him, just avoid the poo. 465 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,240 (LAUGHS) 466 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,280 He's gonna run really fast now. 467 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,320 Right let's do it again. 468 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,080 (LAUGHS) 469 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,000 Are you not gonna get that? Can I have a poo- 470 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,200 Can I have a poo bag, please? (LAUGHS) 471 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,800 It's very difficult because I love Reggie with all my heart. 472 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,200 Part of me was thinking he'd really let me down in the flyball 473 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,320 but another part of me was thinking, "What a legend." 474 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,960 Do you know what I mean? That is massive. Well done. 475 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,680 And then he just walked away from it, like, 476 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,080 you know when Iron Man walks away from an explosion? 477 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,080 It was like that. Have that. 478 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,520 Erm... Somebody want to take this? No! Go and find a bin! 479 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,280 Why are you- 480 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,920 Why are you being such a prick? (LAUGHS) 481 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,280 Just there. 482 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,120 Don't. No! No, Romesh, we can all see you. 483 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,480 What? 484 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,920 It's gotta go in the street bin. Alright, fine. 485 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,360 I'll go to the street.Yeah, go to the street bin, thank you. 486 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,320 I'm gonna check. I'd better check. 487 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,080 This feels like a, um... like a Panorama report. 488 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,440 We need to speak to you, Romesh Ranganathan! 489 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,480 Mr Ranganathan? (CHUCKLES) 490 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,880 Mr... Mr... Mr Ranganathan. 491 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,040 We need to talk to you about your dog, Mr Ranganathan. 492 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,640 The allegation, Mr Ranganathan, the allegations! 493 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,680 (LAUGHING) Where's he going? 494 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,720 495 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,560 'Clearly, that could've gone better. 496 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,120 But now, Reggie was ten pounds lighter.' 497 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,520 Mark, set, go. 'He was like a different dog.' 498 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,840 Yes! Good boy. Well done. 499 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,440 'Nailing not just one jump...' 500 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,640 Mark, set, go. Reggie.ALL: Yay! 501 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,800 '..or two...' Mark, set, go. 502 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,360 '..or even three...' ALL: Yeah! 503 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,160 ..but a frankly incredible four jumps in a single go.' 504 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,000 Yes!Yeah! Brilliant. 505 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,280 That's what you want, a dog with a bit of personality. 506 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,800 You just don't want a dog, you know, 507 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,480 like my one that does everything all the time when you want it done. 508 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,920 Livens it up, doesn't it, if he just has a shit whenever he wants? 509 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,200 Reggie's doing brilliantly now, and I dunno what it is- 510 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,560 I dunno if it's all the training from the experts, 511 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,800 or having a massive turnout. 512 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,120 But since he dropped one on the floor, 513 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,120 he's been the best dog I've ever seen. 514 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,240 So let's see what happens. 515 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,520 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 516 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,720 And what happened next was a little time trial for the boys 517 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,800 so Joe could put their new-found skills to the test. 518 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,680 OK. So what we're gonna try and do now is get them to do a full run. 519 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,000 One of you's gonna release, one of you's gonna stand here 520 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,880 and just call them like you would normally. 521 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,400 The second you see them get the ball off the board, 522 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,640 you guys are just gonna run as fast as you can back down 523 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,400 and then at the last minute, 524 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,080 throw another ball. Another ball, yep. 525 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,440 And then, make sure you come out of the side gate.Perfect. 526 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,480 And then... we can see who does it the fastest? 527 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,280 Yes. 528 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,760 Raring to go, Reggie was first to the start line. 529 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,360 Ready, set... 530 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,760 Go! 531 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,400 (EXCITING MUSIC) 532 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,040 Yeah! Come on, come on, come on. 533 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,240 Come on, Reggie! Go, go, go, go! Throw your ball! 534 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,680 TOGETHER: Yeah! 535 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,240 Good boy! Well done. Woo! Yes, Reg! 536 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,600 Yes. Good boy. 537 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,720 That was perfect! Told you he'd do it. 538 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,800 Well done, Reg.Wow. Genuinely though, Rom... 539 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,520 Can I just say, from where you started that is unbelievable, 540 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,040 I'm panicking now. That was great! (LAUGHS) 541 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,040 'With the benchmark set, then, 542 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,880 it was now Freddie's turn to see if he could do any better.' 543 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,840 Ready, set... Freddie! 544 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,320 Freddie! Freddie! 545 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,720 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 546 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,760 Freddie, Freddie, Freddie! Go, go, go, go! 547 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,160 Run, run, run, run, yes! 548 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:20,480 Throw your ball. 549 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,680 Wahey! Good boy. Good boy! 550 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,680 Yes, Freddie! Woohoo! 551 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,360 (LAUGHS) Good boy. Good boy! Good boy! 552 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,560 Yes, Freddie! 553 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,880 OK, so we've had a really good day today. 554 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,080 The progress has been amazing throughout, 555 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,320 so our winner today is Fred 556 00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:40,600 with a time of 6.8, 557 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,720 closely followed by Reggie with a t- 6 point...? 558 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,200 (LAUGHS) 8.64. So... There's a six in it? 559 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,640 They both did really, really well. They both got sixes in it. 560 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,440 You know what? You- You've done so well, you deserve a little treat. 561 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,040 Well done. OK.(LAUGHS) 562 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,520 Good boy. Good boy. 563 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,840 There was actually a hair on that. Oh nice. 564 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,520 Why've I- Why did I eat that? 565 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,760 (LAUGHS) I did do well though, didn't I? 566 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,480 You did really well. You did really well. 567 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,240 (LAUGHTER) (MUNCHES) Oh yeah, I did really well. 568 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,880 I did really well. (CHUCKLES) 569 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,200 I think I did really, really well. 570 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:13,800 Yeah, there you go. 571 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,840 (LAUGHS)You've done really well Joe, honestly. 572 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,400 Do you want a little one? Yeah. Yeah, Joe.(LAUGHS) 573 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,520 (LAUGHS) There you go. Good boy. 574 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,520 575 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,120 I'm shocked. What a day. We've done great. 576 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,360 Brilliantly, unbelievable. Fred's done great, 577 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,160 Reggie's done great, I've done great. 578 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,600 Well, he did poo on the mat, 579 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,800 but once he got that out of him, he was on fire. 580 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,920 Mate, after he took that shit, what a dog! 581 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,800 Do you feel better now that Reggie's sort of under your command?Yeah. 582 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,200 I think he performs best when he's had a shit.Mmm. 583 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,560 So I think feed him up, cotton bud, little bit of olive oil. 584 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,640 I don't think you should do that. Tease it- What? 585 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,960 I don't think you should. That's what you do with babies. 586 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,280 We'll get a complaint. No! What? 587 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,840 When a baby's constipated, you get- 588 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,840 You... stick a bit of cotton bud up its arse? 589 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,600 That is a known technique! 590 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,320 You don't stick it right up there, you just sort of tickle the anus. 591 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,120 (WHISPERS) No... Google it. 592 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,800 I've never tr- Well I tell you what, when we get back to the hotel... 593 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,520 Yeah, do it on me. Or me. 594 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,600 OK.Why don't we do it to each other at the same time? 595 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,400 Perfect. That'll be nice, won't it? 596 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,840 That'll be fun. Anyway, I've loved today. 597 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,720 Yeah, it's been great. Yeah. Have I- Have I been good? 598 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,280 You've been a really good boy. Have I? 599 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,440 You know what? Really good? 600 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,760 You've been such a good boy, you're getting a little treat. Well done. 601 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,120 (GROANS) 602 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,000 Good boy. (LAUGHS) Too hard! 603 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,480 Argh. Right, let's go and race some dogs. 604 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,760 Yeah. Let me get that cotton bud for you.(CHUCKLES) 605 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,840 (LIVELY MUSIC) 606 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,320 ROB: 'This week, Rom and I are pulling out all the stops 607 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:48,320 to get our dogs race ready for Crufts. 608 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,480 At flyball, Fred and I once again showed 609 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,920 what natural born winners we were 610 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,160 when we knocked it out the park with our display of speed and agility.' 611 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,000 Yes, Freddie! Woohoo! Wahey! 612 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:03,080 'Rom and Reggie on the other hand decided to play things differently.' 613 00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:05,480 (LAUGHS) 614 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,720 'A few months later, 615 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,880 I was keen to see how the other duo were getting on. 616 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,000 So I organised a quick catch up 617 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,680 in a dog cafe and spa in Chelsea 618 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,680 to give the boys some well-deserved RandR, 619 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,840 and more importantly, see how the competition was shaping up.' 620 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,560 Three days 'til Crufts. Yep. 621 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,480 Agility course. Yep. 622 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,760 Walking it around in front of all the other dog owners.Yeah. 623 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,920 How you feeling? Well, I don't know where he is now. 624 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,560 He's gone. So that's the hint. 625 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,400 Reggie. Come on. 626 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,600 That's good, look. He's coming to you now.Down, down. 627 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,880 Good boy. That's... Wow. That's impressive. 628 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,120 Well what I would say is... Have you been training?No. 629 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,600 None? None. 630 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,080 You've been doing secret agility course lessons, haven't you?No, Rob. 631 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,480 You did it at the Strongest Man. 632 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,720 You got an atlas stone delivered to your house 633 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,040 for you to practice on in the garden. Well, that's not... 634 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,000 First of all, that's not strictly true. 635 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:03,520 I got four atlas stones and a podium.(CHUCKLES) 636 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,600 (BOTH LAUGH) 637 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,920 And you made your wife home video you practising in secret.Yeah. 638 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,000 And then we went head to head. Yeah, and I lost 639 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,680 and we had to get the garden re-turfed 'cause I dropped it. 640 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,000 Yes. So I'm asking you now, 641 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,920 and you should be honest... Yeah. 642 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,040 Have you been secretly training your dog on an agility course? 643 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,480 Rob, do you think I'm the sort of tragic prick 644 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,280 that just to do well at Crufts, that I don't care about, 645 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,360 I would go and take secret agility lessons with my dog? 646 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,160 Do you think I'm that pathetic a person?When can I say yes? 647 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,360 Yes, I do. Have you? No. 648 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,520 (LIVELY MUSIC) Reggie! 649 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,320 'Well... maybe I'd had a few. 650 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,240 In fact, Reggie and I had been training hard 651 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,840 on a copy of the course we'd be competing on at Crufts. 652 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,160 So, for once, I actually had a fighting chance of winning this. 653 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,840 But training was only half the battle... 654 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,840 Because if you want to be a champion, 655 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,040 you need to look like one too.' 656 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:08,160 Well, the reason we're here is twofold. 657 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,000 Fold number one is to... 658 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,840 just give them a break and a little bit of enjoyment. 659 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,280 Fold number two is they need to look presentable 660 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,040 because we're going to Crufts. 661 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,160 'So we'd enlisted the help of dog groomer Lauren Philips 662 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,160 and her dog Arlo, to teach us 663 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,480 how to make Reggie and Fred look like a million dollars.' 664 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,040 I'm gonna start off with a nice shampoo, this is de-shedding. 665 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,640 Erm, so I'm just gonna put a couple of pumps in there. 666 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,160 'And it didn't take us long to discover, 667 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,800 it wasn't only the dogs that were filthy.' 668 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,840 What about their heads? So, I'll demonstrate on Arlo. 669 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,480 What we do here is a blueberry facial. 670 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,400 Pardon?So, er... it really gets all of the bits of dirt out, so... 671 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:53,320 Do you mind if I double check that on urban dictionary just in case you're winding us up? 672 00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:55,960 (LAUGHS) Oh, it's come up in your history. 673 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,960 Already watched, actually. Should've known. 674 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,760 Now I'm not an innuendo guy but if that was on Bake Off, 675 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,400 that would leave soggy bottom in the- in the past, wouldn't it? 676 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,120 Imagine Mary Berry trying to talk you through a blueberry facial. 677 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,760 Why is it called blueberry facial? Er... 678 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,720 Cos it's blueberry and it goes on the face.Yeah. 679 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,320 (LAUGHS)Is it blueberries? Does what it says on the tin really. 680 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,200 It's actually blueberries?Yeah. Wait 'til she does a raspberry anal. 681 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,000 (LAUGHS) Romesh! 682 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,240 Have some respect. There's an art to this.I'm just- 683 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,240 And you're really bringing the tone- I'm sorry about him. 684 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,920 But do you do a raspberry... (LAUGHTER) 685 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,880 It's Chelsea, we offer all sorts here. 686 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,400 (LAUGHTER) 687 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,320 'Blueberry facials, however, were the least of my worries, 688 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:37,880 given what Reggie was packing down under.' 689 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,560 Would you dry the undercarriage or leave that to air dry? 690 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,280 You must dry the undercarriage. 691 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,920 You don't want any... any infections going on there, 692 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,920 so you wanna give that a good dry. 693 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,520 You're gonna be here for hours. Jesus Christ.(LAUGHS) 694 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,920 'But those worries would have to wait, 695 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,040 as one final blow dry later, Arlo was done, 696 00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,440 and then it was our turn to get our hands dirty.' 697 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,040 I sort of find it interesting that um... 698 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,800 the way that you, sort of, groom a dog at a luxury groomers 699 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,840 is similar to the way I expect things happen in prison 700 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,880 which is, sort of, you just hose 'em down. 701 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,600 And then, like, direct the jet at the anus. 702 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,080 There we go. Right in the batty. (GROANS) 703 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,040 Make sure you rub that soap in as well.Rub it in? 704 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,000 (GROANS)Christ. This is awful. 705 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,160 That's the first time I've looked directly into his anus. 706 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,400 Like straight into it. It was like the end of Event Horizon. 707 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,600 Oh, is that nice, Fred? Oh look. 708 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,080 Well done. Do you like that? 709 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,240 I thought this was gonna bring me closer to Fred 710 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,400 but I think it's made him more suspicious of me. 711 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,240 There we go, perfect. (CHUCKLES) Oh my God. 712 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,040 Looks like a nan. 713 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,000 Before I was just that bloke that knocked around the house a bit, 714 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,880 did the bins, occasionally came home after work. 715 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,800 Now I'm the weird bloke that takes him to stuff. 716 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,960 Take him to like a town hall so he runs up and down. 717 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,280 Take him to Chelsea, two hours in the car, 718 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,360 and just make him freeze his bollocks off. 719 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,320 And there's not much bollocks to freeze. 720 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,840 His willy is really small compared to Reggie's.(LAUGHS)Pardon? 721 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,800 I said you're doing a really good job with that washing over there. 722 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,920 Thank you. 'They're sort of clean.' 723 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:13,680 Are they ready for Crufts? No. 724 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,240 Are they ready to be on the front of a greetings card? Maybe. 725 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,160 I don't think it's gonna go well. 726 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,560 But when they do fuck up, 727 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,680 they will look fabulous doing it. 728 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,280 Well done, Romesh and Reggie! 729 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,920 I mean, he's absolutely soaking wet, but apart from that.Yeah. 730 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,280 Yeah.(LAUGHS LOUDLY) He's not- 731 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,080 He's not dry at all and his paws look filthy, but apart from that, 732 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,760 absolutely smashed it.(LAUGHS) Let's get out of here. 733 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,400 A for effort. See you later, Lauren. 734 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,480 That's the wettest dog I've ever felt! 735 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:42,960 Are you ready for Crufts? 736 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,680 Well, if the requirement for Crufts 737 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,320 is to be slightly cleaner than before with a bandana on, 738 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,960 then yeah, I'm good to go, yeah. Mmm. 739 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,560 Perfect. Gonna absolutely smash it. 740 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,920 If it requires actually any kind of training and ability, we're screwed. 741 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,800 Yeah, yeah. As long as, um... a muddy cock and a bandana 742 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,360 is what you need for Crufts, I'm ready as well. 743 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,360 Yeah. So um... I had a little chat about... 744 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,400 cos you know you've been sort of obsessed with the size of Reggie's dick? 745 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sort of stole the show. 746 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,640 Yeah, so what I've been told by this place 747 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,640 is that Reggie's penis is actually average size for a dog of his size. 748 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,400 Yep.But that in all their years of grooming, 749 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,040 they've not seen a penis as tiny as Fred's. (CHUCKLES) 750 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,840 (WHISPERS) Fred. 751 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,400 Freddie. 752 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,160 It's OK. 753 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,960 The exact words were, "It's the tiniest one I've ever seen." 754 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,600 Really?Yeah.Fred, mate, you've gotta get good at foreplay. 755 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,360 (LAUGHS) It's the only way. 756 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,560 It's the only way. That's what daddy did. 757 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,400 Then they'll- That's what daddy did. 758 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,760 It's not the wand, it's the magician. 759 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,640 (LAUGHTER) 760 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:59,080 ROMESH: 'Last year, Rob and I set out on a mission 761 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,440 to see if we could train our beloved family pets 762 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,760 to become agility super stars.' 763 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,160 Good boy, Freddie. 'Six months later, 764 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,480 we're about to see if all our hard work has paid off, 765 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:14,320 as Team Beckett and Team Ranganathan prepare to go head to head 766 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,440 at the one and only Crufts.' 767 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,160 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 768 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,680 'Over the next four days, 769 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:29,440 150,000 visitors are expected to cram into the Birmingham NEC 770 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,760 to watch 24,000 dogs and their owners 771 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,320 compete to be crowned a Crufts champion. 772 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,400 And in just a few hours' time, 773 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:42,800 Rob, Fred, Reggie and myself will be joining them in the main arena 774 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:47,200 to find out who's the top dog on the agility course once and for all.' 775 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,360 Here we are. Crufts. Yep. 776 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:55,280 Look, we're here, it's, uh, crunch time and I think it's only fair 777 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:59,000 to say that it's- it's possible... 778 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,880 I've done a tiny, like, real tiny bit of... 779 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,080 really tiny bit of training. 780 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,640 You've been doing extra training? 781 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,360 Well, not- I wouldn't say extra training just like really... 782 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,000 You really don't like going home do you? 783 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,240 No, no. No, I just- Any excuse. How much- 784 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,400 How many training sessions you done? 785 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,920 I wouldn't say- I wouldn't call them sessions. 786 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,040 How many times have you been to the agility course? 787 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,160 Just like three two-hour sessions. Three... 788 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,080 Right, that's longer than we did in the initial training! 789 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,240 We did an hour. 790 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,760 If it makes you feel any better, he's learnt nothing. 791 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,000 Well, we'll find out, won't we? Yeah, we will. 792 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,040 793 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,720 'The truth is I've done a bit of training.' 794 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,680 The training wasn't to win, the training was just... 795 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,680 I just would like to have a day on this show 796 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,760 where I'm not completely humiliated. 797 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,000 'Clearly, Romesh had been busy trying to level the playing field. 798 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:53,240 But I was still feeling confident that me and Fred had this in the bag. 799 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,440 So confident, in fact, 800 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:58,600 that instead of spending our last few minutes of prep time getting ready, 801 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,560 I'd signed us up to an interview of Channel 4 802 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,320 with the Queen of Crufts herself, Clare Balding. 803 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,200 She loves dogs.' 804 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,520 Now, I am delighted to say I'm joined in the studio 805 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,840 by Rob Beckett and Romesh Ranganathan, 806 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,880 and more importantly, by their dogs. 807 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,320 Um, and it is just lovely to see you both. 808 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,440 (CHUCKLES) Romesh, tell us about Reggie. 809 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,120 Uh, Reggie's a golden doddle. 810 00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:24,239 He is almost entirely wild in terms of his behaviour.(LAUGHS) 811 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,520 And you've got the most lovely whippet there. 812 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,520 This is Fred? This is Fred the whippet, yeah. 813 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,840 He's very chilled, he's uh... he's loving it. 814 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,280 They're so elegant.Yeah, I'd like to see a few other whippets 815 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,960 because we've been said that poor old Fred's not been blessed, 816 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,600 erm... in certain areas. In what way? 817 00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:39,400 We went to a dog groomers... Yeah. 818 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,320 Yeah? And she told us that 819 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,520 Fred was the least blessed whippet she'd ever seen. 820 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,760 In terms of hair growth? Er...Not hair growth... 821 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,280 Oh. But it could be mistaken for a hair. 822 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,840 I would say his... Erm, yes. OK. 823 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,159 Moving on...Appendage. I know also- Thanks for that. 824 00:34:53,199 --> 00:34:56,199 You've been training your dogs, or trying to train them, 825 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:57,800 to do agility? Yes. 826 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,320 Reggie will take on Fred in the agility course. 827 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,480 Yeah. Brilliant. Erm, good luck with that. 828 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,880 Lovely to meet Fred and Reggie and to see both of you again. Thank you. 829 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,080 Thank you for having is. You too. Thanks for having us. 830 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:10,760 After the break here on Channel 4, 831 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,080 we will see the judging of the terrier group 832 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,040 and these are some of the cutest dogs you'll ever see. 833 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,720 Alrighty. Aww, thanks Clare.Thank you. 834 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,080 That was fun, I enjoyed that. That was quite fun actually. 835 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,480 Can't believe you started talking about his willy though. 836 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,960 Seriously? Is that what you were talking about? 837 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,520 No, I was on about his tail. (LAUGHS) 838 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,280 Clare! Clare Balding. 839 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,800 Clare! Stop it, Clare! 840 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,720 You've been here too long. Your mind's gone to mush. 841 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,480 (LAUGHTER) 842 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,960 (TENSE MUSIC) 843 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,840 'Back in the main arena, things were starting to hot up.' 844 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,080 This is quite stressful, Rom. This is a big old room, innit?Yeah. 845 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,160 'The pros were in action on the agility course, 846 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,160 and in a few minutes time, we were due to be up next.' 847 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,160 ANNOUNCER: Let's give them a big cheer! 848 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,560 'And I, for one, was no longer feeling quite so confident.' 849 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,160 I'm more nervous now. 850 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,640 I've got a feeling the zero training 851 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,640 is gonna come and bite me... (MOCK ACCENT) in the ass! 852 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,520 'Luckily for me then, Ashleigh Butler 853 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,400 was backstage for a last minute pep talk.' 854 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,840 Ashleigh, I've done zero training since we last met. Just... 855 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,160 Why have you told me this? OK, I just wanna be honest. 856 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,520 In two minutes, you're gonna be out there at the world's biggest... 857 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,280 the world's biggest dog show in that massive arena...Yeah. 858 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,080 And you've done no training! 859 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:29,040 My second worry is I don't think I can physically run around that on my own without a dog. 860 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,440 OK.So what would you say would be the best approach now? 861 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:33,920 (SIGHS) Hope and pray. 862 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,280 I'll do that. Hope and pray, be fun, 863 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,160 and last one... eye contact. 864 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,040 Do you know what I didn't like? What? 865 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,360 You looked straight at me just before you said it.I know! 866 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,200 I know, I did. I'm sorry about that. Yeah it was just instinctive. 867 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:48,400 You look at Ashleigh when talking to me."Last thing... 868 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,240 eye contact." I did do that. I'm really sorry. 869 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,560 Ashleigh! That's incredible. 870 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,880 Eye contact. Yeah. 871 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,400 Again! Oh, I still looked at you! 872 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,640 (LAUGHTER) I'm sorry. 873 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,400 Good afternoon, everybody. 874 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,160 Welcome back to the main arena here. 875 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:08,080 'The truth was, Rob wasn't the only one feeling nervous.' 876 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,360 This is gonna be a fucking disaster. (LAUGHS LOUDLY) 877 00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,560 'Cos whilst Reggie and I might've had a slight training advantage, 878 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,040 what Rob didn't know was that Lisa and the boys 879 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,240 had decided to join us ringside... 880 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,760 And I was bricking it.' 881 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,000 My family are here because they're very excited 882 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,480 about seeing Reggie, sort of, take part. 883 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,440 As if he didn't need enough distractions when we're doing it, 884 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,680 he's gonna see three people 885 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:35,720 that he knows and loves more than me in the crowd. 886 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,280 So... let's just see what happens. 887 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,360 But I would say, this doesn't make things easier. 888 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,520 At least I wasn't the one going first. 889 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,040 Are you ready? No. 890 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,760 No? OK. Let us know when you are. No. (CHUCKLES) 891 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,640 MAN: 'Here's the course set by judge Graham Partridge. 892 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,120 It's an S shape, it's fast, 893 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,280 it's simple and flowing. 894 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,360 Six mixed height jumps, three tunnels, 895 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,880 and yup, the tyre's in there too.' 896 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:07,640 OK, here we go. Right. 897 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,160 (CHEERING) Go on, Rob! 898 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:10,480 'Fastest time wins. 899 00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:13,960 There's a five second penalty for every missed obstacle. 900 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,920 That'll be added to the final time.' 901 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,600 Sit. Sit. Stay. Well done. 902 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,640 OK. (CROWD LAUGH) 903 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,440 But it's alright, you've not started yet. 904 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,120 Yeah. OK, Fred. Sit. 905 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,440 Sit. 'Rob and Fred, first to go. 906 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,320 Fred the 18 month old whippet.' Wait, wait. 907 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,760 And... come through! 'Treat. 908 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,400 And Fred hops over and the round is off and running. 909 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,160 On that far side, that's neatly over the first one and the second too. 910 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,320 That's a good tidy start from Rob and from Fred. 911 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,080 The tunnel, as we anticipated, a bit of a problem.' 912 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:46,800 (LAUGHTER) 'I'm not sure that, um... 913 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,200 you never know.' Yes! 914 00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:49,680 'They've missed that one, 915 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,440 so that'll be a raised arm and a few extra seconds. 916 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,120 Rob showing a bit of speed around the course here. 917 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,000 I'm pretty sure he's taken a wrong course there.'(LAUGHTER) 918 00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,640 'And Graham Partridge is raising his arms. 919 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,320 Doing a few exercises out there is our Graham. 920 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,840 What about the tyre? 921 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,640 Does Fred fancy the tyre? 922 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,280 Well through in the end.' (CHEERING) 923 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,720 'Building up to the speedy finale of the course as well. 924 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,160 On that far side, hopping over the final jumps, 925 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,320 picking up a couple of faults along the way. 926 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:22,360 44.52 and five faults.' (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 927 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,640 Aww! That was actually good. ASHLEIGH: Not bad! 928 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,040 That was good. Rob! That really wasn't bad! 929 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,880 That was insane. That was so good! 930 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,680 Good boy. ANNOUNCER: Well done, Rob. 931 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:34,160 Hold that thought because we had some missed obstacles. 932 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,880 I think five missed obstacles so we're gonna- 933 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,760 Woah! What? I know. Who noticed? 934 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,560 Two?I don't think anyone noticed. I think you're alright. 935 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,280 So we'll probably confer with our judge at the end. 936 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,120 That was great.I just couldn't- couldn't do the tunnels. 937 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,560 It was great. (SIGHS) 938 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,520 'Even with a lack of training, 939 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,080 me and Freddie had absolutely smashed it 940 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,640 with a lightning fast lap around the course. 941 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,120 But with five time faults hanging over us, 942 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,480 had it been fast enough to secure the win?' 943 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,440 Romesh and Reggie. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 944 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,880 COMMENTATOR: 'OK, here comes Romesh. 945 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,680 So what can Romesh and Reggie 946 00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:12,840 the miniature golden doodle do? Right, Reggie, wait. 947 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,320 Wait. Go! 'Off! 948 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,560 A flying start.' Reggie, Reggie! 949 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,800 'Good speed, corrected that early fault over the second jump 950 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:22,960 and over the third as well.' Tunnel! 951 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,040 'The tunnel. No problem at all, that, for Reggie.' 952 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,640 (CHEERING) 'Excellent stuff, Reggie. 953 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,040 Tail wagging. Reggie enjoying every second of performing 954 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,800 on this massive stage at Crufts.' (BARKS) 955 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,320 'Bit of hesitation there but still no faults.'(LAUGHTER) 956 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,720 'Lots of hilarity but he's going pretty well, 957 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,560 perhaps a little bit slower is Romesh than Rob.'Yes. 958 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,400 Tunnel, tunnel, tunnel. 959 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,480 (CHEERING) Yes! 'This is looking good. 960 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,520 This is looking actually a little bit superior.' 961 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,040 He is nailing those hurdles! 962 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:48,720 The jump, the jump. 963 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:50,400 (CHEERING, LAUGHTER) 'Good work. 964 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,040 Yeah, you can jump over and show the dog the way, I guess. 965 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:54,760 Urged on by Graham Partridge.' Yes! 966 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,400 'Tyre no problem at all, building up 967 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,640 for a big finish here.' Reggie, tunnel, tunnel. 968 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,160 (CHEERING)'And Romesh down that far side, galloping finish. 969 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,320 Oh, no! Keep going, keep going.' (LAUGHTER) 970 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,320 'Not back there. Not back there. He's found something. 971 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,440 I think it was the treats, was it, he found there? 972 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,400 They come at the end of the round normally. 973 00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,320 Great work. Last one, last one.' (CHEERING) 974 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,360 'Yay! Over we go.' (APPLAUSE) 975 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,440 '58.80 and that is absolutely clear. He took longer. 976 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,640 Going back for that treat really didn't help at all.'Come here! 977 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,760 (CHEERING) 'No time faults. So up to our judge, 978 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,200 Mr Agility Graham Partridge...' (LAUGHTER) 979 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:29,240 '..to make the final decision.' 980 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,680 Oh shit. 981 00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:32,280 (ASHLEIGH YELPS, LAUGHS) (BARKS) 982 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,880 This is where he can't get him back now. 983 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,680 He's like, "Come catch me." 'Over he goes.'(LAUGHTER) 984 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,760 'How many more times you want me to jump this thing?' 985 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,760 He wants to stay out there, he wants to do more! 986 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,880 (LAUGHTER) 987 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:46,560 'If ever a dog loved the limelight 988 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,400 and loved 8,000 pairs of eyes 989 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:52,480 fixated on him, it's Reggie.' (APPLAUSE) 990 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,720 991 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:59,320 ANNOUNCER: So, we're gonna go with our judge's decision. 992 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,040 So the winner, ladies and gentlemen, 993 00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:09,080 of Rob and Romesh versus Crufts 2023 was... 994 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,840 Romesh and Reggie! 995 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,680 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Reggie, we did it! 996 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:17,800 Thank you so much. 997 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:22,600 Reggie! Reggie! (INDISTINCT) 998 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,760 Really well done. Oh, thank you. 999 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,280 It is not as easy as people think it is.It's stressful. 1000 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,320 For the amount of time you two have been training, 1001 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,760 I think you've done brilliantly. BOTH: Thank you very much. 1002 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,640 Congratulations. Cheers.Thank you so much. 1003 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,640 Thank you so much. 1004 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,680 We won, man. We won. 1005 00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:39,560 We won. And do you know what? 1006 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,880 If feels great. Feels amazing. 1007 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,840 I'm still buzzing now. 1008 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,080 (ROARS) Come on! 1009 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,520 (SONG FADES OUT) 1010 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,640 Congratulations. Thank you. 1011 00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,960 I wanna say, seriously, 1012 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,280 the transformation from the first bit of filming 1013 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,400 to Crufts has been remarkable. Yeah. 1014 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,800 Considering that he just literally ran away from you. 1015 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,480 I know. And you think about at the beginning of this whole process, 1016 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,640 I had a dog that would not come back if he was off the lead.Yeah. 1017 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:10,960 And we've gone through all this 1018 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,840 and he will not come back if he's off the lead. 1019 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,600 It is mad that you still can't take your dog off a lead 1020 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,600 but you've competed at Crufts and won.Mmm. 1021 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,280 Innit? (CHUCKLES) It is mad, yeah. 1022 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,040 And you've done well with Fred, haven't you?Do you know what? 1023 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,560 I do feel like I've got closer to Fred as...Yeah. 1024 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,480 And now he feels comfortable enough with you 1025 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,880 to let you dress him up as a nana. 1026 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,200 But the memories. You know? Yeah, great memories. 1027 00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:36,560 Great memories and what a wonderful place to have these memories in. 1028 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,600 Yeah.The generator behind the back of the NEC in Birmingham. 1029 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,800 Do you know what, guys? We've had a great episode, 1030 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,040 why don't we conclude this by the service entrance. 1031 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,800 Do the rest of the episode like an episode of Rob and Rom, 1032 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,680 let's do the end like Luther. (CHUCKLES) 1033 00:43:49,720 --> 00:43:51,800 (LOW VOICE) I got a feeling I think I know who did it. 1034 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,560 Follow me. (LAUGHS) 1035 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,160 (HIGH-PITCHED) Coming! 1036 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,280 Go on, Fred! 1037 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,200 With A Little Help From My Friends 1038 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:03,360 I'm gonna get by with my friends 1039 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,960 From my friends 1040 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,320 1041 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,920 From my friends 1042 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,960 1043 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,520 From my friends 1044 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,000 1045 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,840 From my friends 1046 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:22,800 1047 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,040 From my friends 1048 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:26,360 1049 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,600 1050 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,080 1051 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,680 1052 00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:37,360 1053 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,120 1054 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,160 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 1055 00:44:42,210 --> 00:44:46,760 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0